


Coma Baby

by Goober



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Brain Damage, Car Accidents, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Memory Loss, Missing Limbs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 10:28:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10010957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goober/pseuds/Goober
Summary: Hux’s face scrunches in frustration until he sighs heavily, “They say it will come easier to me.”“What will?”“Everything.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> I return with nothing but pain
> 
> [Coma Baby -- Nicole Dollanganger](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1T-MGCol5Y)

It’s a half hour by two different busses but it’s well worth the trip.

“He’s feeling pretty tired today,” a nurse with kind eyes and a sad smile says to him as Kylo steps onto the floor. “We tried to get him to do a few simple movements during physical therapy, but he was getting frustrated. We’re keeping the lights on in hopes that he will stay awake today, despite the sedative.”

Kylo nods wordlessly, a sinking in his stomach as they get nearer to the room. The hard candies in his pocket feel like weights as his heartbeat quickens and his nails dig into his palm. An hour passes in the span of seconds as they reach the end of the hall and the nurse is checking the chart beside the door.

“Is he …” Kylo’s words die in his mouth. He asks the same question every day, but the answer is always the same.

The nurse gives him a look of condolence before shaking her head. “No, he’s not recovering well, but he might just be stubborn enough to make it.”

Kylo nods before pushing on the handle of the door. The room is quiet when he steps inside, and from behind the curtain he can hear only faint scribbling. Drawing the yellow plaid curtain aside he peeks his head in and catches the attention of the man in the bed. “Hey, Hux.”

Hux is propped up by a line of pillows down his spine, the side table pulled as over his legs as it will go. The bruising on the side of his face is starting to darken into a sickly yellow brown, mixing with his already pallid tone. His lips are cracked and his eyes are unfocused and rimmed with dark circles despite the constant sleep he must be getting. Hux’s hair is damp and looks recently washed, his gown a slightly different pattern than the one he was in yesterday.

“Do I know you?”

Kylo’s heart aches, but he expected nothing else. He’s able to mask the hurt with a half smile and a nod. “Yeah. Yeah, I know you from uni. I wanted to see how you were doing.”

Hux looks at him with suspicious and narrowed eyes, but concedes after a few seconds of silence. “Alright. Come sit down.” The slight motion he makes with his head in the direction of the chair makes Kylo want to rush forward and hold his face still. The ice compress on his temple shifts a little and, when he turns his head into the pillow to watch Kylo take a seat next to the bed, he adjusts it back into place.

“My name is Kylo. We uh — we had some classes together.”

There’s a bit of surprise behind Hux’s eyes, but it dissipates before Kylo can make anything of it.

“I see.”

An awkward silence falls between them, measured in the defined ticking of the broken clock on the wall above his head. Kylo looks at the table and the papers spread across it. In Hux’s right hand is a pencil, his left still holding one of the loose leaf pages to the plastic wood. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to write,” Hux sighs. “I’m not able to have much stimulus so I need to find my own ways to keep busy. I figure trying to perfect my handwriting is a good use of my time.”

Kylo’s smile returns as he nods. “It does.”

Another silence.

“I brought you something,” Kylo tries. Hux’s eyes fall to his elbow as he reaches into the pocket of his jacket. Pulling out two of the yellow wrapped hard candies he reaches over and sets them on the table, as close to Hux as he can. It takes Hux a second to remove his eyes from the end of his right arm, but he looks at the candy with something close to a smile. “They’re butterscotch.”

“My favorite,” Hux says softly.

“The nurses told me you can have them now. I figured these would be more fun than ice chips.”

The smile fades slowly.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” Kylo leans back in the chair and crosses his arms at his chest, supporting his right atop his left. Hux sets the pencil down and weakly starts to push away the table. When Kylo tries to grab the end and help he is shot a dark look and moves away.

“We went to university together. How well did we know one another? What … can you tell me about myself?”

“We … were kind of friends. On talking terms, at least. We had a couple classes together and we’d mostly pair up for group projects. You’re exceedingly stubborn, even now.” Hux’s lip pulls up into a small side smile. “But … we didn’t get to know each other well.”

“That’s a shame.”

“Is it?”

“Well; you’re willing to come here and see me in the hospital even if you don’t really know me. I would have expected you to know me better than just a passing acquaintance.” Hux turns on his side, pulling the starched white sheets up to his waist.

“This isn’t the first time I’ve been here,” Kylo rushes.

Hux’s brows crinkle for a second as he considers this. “Even stranger. Though it would make sense why you’d know about the candy.”

Kylo refuses to let there be a third awkward silence between them. “What do you remember?”

“Bits and pieces. My father, my mother, where I live, where I grew up. More recent things I can’t hold onto for longer than a minute, I think. I’m not sure who visits me most of the time, or how often.” Hux’s face scrunches in frustration until he sighs heavily, “They say it will come easier to me.”

“What will?”

“Everything.”

Kylo’s words die on his tongue.

“They’re trying to keep the lights on, to keep me awake.” The hollowness of his eyes echo the ache in his body. “I’m not going to be awake much longer.”

“I’ll leave you, then. So you can rest.” Kylo’s never felt more eager to leave before now, but the deep burden of guilt keeps him rooted in his seat.

“Why did you really come and see me, Kylo?”

It’s not the first time he has heard this question, but it always hits him like a shovel to the face as if it were.

His eyes fall to the name band across Hux’s wrist. “I … I did this.” The silence encourages him to continue, but the words feel numb on his tongue. “We … I was driving us home from the bar. I shouldn’t have. We went out for drinks and you … you wanted to go back to your place. I lapsed for a second in my judgement and took a turn too hard. Right into another car — your side got the worst of it.  _ You _ got the worst of it.”

The tick of the clock feels overpowering as he watches Hux’s face twist through several different emotions at once, before finally settling on understanding. “I see. And that is how you lost your arm, then?”

Kylo nods, throat tight and tears in the corners of his eyes.

“Okay.”

The clock ticks on as Kylo waits for more. “ … Okay?”

“Okay. Thank you for telling me.” The total monotone of his voice is unsurprising, but new. There’s usually more emotion behind Hux’s words, his acceptance of Kylo’s confessions. He just seems tired, now.

“I should go now …?” Kylo asks, watching as Hux turns onto his other side to face away from him. The bandage at the back of his head mats the hair more than the dampness of the sponge bath.

“If you want.” There’s a pause before Hux asks, “How many times have you come to see me?”

“Ever since I was released from the hospital. Every day.”

Hux seems to process this as his breathing evens out, and the silence grows from uncomfortable to familiar. As Kylo stands he can hear Hux’s breathing deepen, and his head tilts forward a little on the pillow. His eyes fall to the paper on the table, a sinking in his gut he most definitely deserves.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Hux.”

The nurse’s words echo in his ears, and he feels his throat swelling up. He wasn’t sure how many tomorrows there would be left. Kylo leaves quietly, mind stuck on the single word meticulously scrawled across the page in varying degrees of coherency.

_ Kylo _ .


End file.
